212: Show Your Gratitude

This year would be the first Thanksgiving that I would not be with my children.  As part of the divorce, we had to split holidays moving forward.  I had insisted on Christmas for the first year knowing that one would be the most difficult for me.  I still feel that was the best decision, but no matter what it was going to be different this year.  My kids would be with their dad at his parents house.  I always felt thankful and relieved when I knew my kids were with their grandparents.  It's not that I didn't think they were safe with my Ex, because I knew they were.  I had peace of mind in knowing they had that other person who was going above and beyond: his mother.  Yes, I knew undoubtedly my former mother in law genuinely loved my kids.  She always reached out to me to ask questions or send updates or pictures when the boys were with her.  She fully acknowledged and respected I was the mother.  I appreciated that.  And even though she never said as much, I believe there was a part of her that felt she had to do more to make up for her son.  It would never be admitted and that was fine.  I saw it.  I hadn't fully figured out how to navigate my relationship with my former mother in law yet.  Things were certainly different now yet we shared one priority that was very high for both of us.  My children.  Knowing my kids would be with her on Thanksgiving this year, I wanted to send along a little something to thank her for everything she had done for them over the past year.  I chose a small autumn scented candle.  It wasn't a big gift at all.  But I knew she would appreciate the gesture.  We had many years of interactions ahead of us and I could only hope they would continue to be pleasant.  But for now, I would just be grateful for where we were today.