192 : Somebody Wants Me!

Throughout my life, I think I've always been a pretty confident person.  I don't think I'm vain or egotistical.  I just have always known and accepted who I am.  The good (and the bad).  Yup, I'd say I've always been confident.  I'm the girl that people would say 'that guy was just intimidated by you'.  (Ok, maybe all girls heard that one and it was just something we said to each other to make ourselves feel better?  Regardless, I actually believed it from time to time.)  Well, all that aside, even the most confident of people felt the blow when their companion up and abandoned them.  It was the most humiliating and hurtful experience I have ever had and it left me feeling incredibly vulnerable. Broken. Unwanted. I can't say that my Ex robbed me of my confidence, but I will say that I have never questioned myself so much since all this happened.  This bothered me almost as much as losing my partner. I hated that I questioned my own judgement.  I hated that I doubted myself.  I hated that I needed so much reassurance.  I mean everyone needed  a little reassurance on occasion, but I really needed it.  Friends were wonderful supporting me and providing me with that extra security I seemed to have lost.  My mom gave me daily affirmation on my decisions.  But it wasn't the same as having a devoted partner or trusting myself like I previously had been able to do.  And then one day, out of the blue, I received an email from a recruiter about a position at Apple.  Yes, Apple!  As in Mac, iPhone, iPod, you got it.  Yes, a recuiter for Apple had reached out to me about a resource position (similar to my current job) at their headquarters in California.  Let me just say it again.  APPLE!  I was in no position to move to California (not that they had even offered me the job yet) but still.  They were interested in me.  They reached out to me.  Somebody wanted me!  After the year I'd had, I needed this.  I knew I wasn't going to California but it felt so incredibly awesome to be wanted.  I was pretty sure this opportunity wouldn't go anywhere but I was thankful for the confidence boost.  Go Me!