203 : Take a Mental Snapshot

It's amazing to me, as a parent, how quickly things can change with your children.  One minute they are driving you crazy.  You bark something at them (if you haven't done this yet- good for you!  But remember you are not the only one when it happens. And it will happen) and then the very next minute, you are enamored by them.  They are these tiny little complicated beings that are equally as frustrating as they are lovable.  And they are completely uncontrollable.  Don't kid yourself into thinking anything else.  (The candy bribe will only get you so far).  I've already noted the importance of spending time with your kids (see post #11 and #53).  It wasn't only spending time with them but actually being present in the moment.  This was something I could remind myself of every single day because there was always room for improvement.  I would find myself cleaning the kitchen.  Or checking my phone.  Or just thinking of work, somewhere else, distant.  I was having lunch with an old friend the other day and she was sharing a story about a good moment in her day that she stopped to note as something she would remember forever.  She was making cookies, and her son came in the house, commented the cookies looked good and then went back out to play.  It was the simplest of exchanges, but it made my friend feel loved, validated, and overall just good at being a mom in that moment.  Now there is no doubt my friend is all of these things, but what I was pleased to hear in this story was that she actually noted that moment as a memory to bank in her mind.  In hearing her story, it was a reminder to me, that there were so many exchanges I had with my children that would never be caught on camera, recorded or witnessed by anyone but us. However, it was these very moments that often meant more to me than anything.  It wasn't until I had a moment like that (after having talked to my friend) that I stopped to take that snapshot to save for my own personal memory bank.  Last night, I was soundly sleeping when my 3 year old came in as per usual.  He knew the drill by now.  We didn't really acknowledge each other, he just climbed in bed with me and we both resumed sleeping.  Hours later, though, my youngest starting crying.  Loudly.  I went in to check on him and brought him some water.  I picked him up to soothe him and he immediately cuddled right into my arms.  I swayed with him for a minute and thought I had him settled, but when I attempted to put him back, he was not having it.  Having experienced this before, I let him cry and went back into my bed certain that he would grow tired and fall back to sleep.  But he didn't.  His cries only got louder and as much as I wanted to ignore it, I couldn't.  So I went to get him again and just as before, he settled into me.  I did exactly what I would encourage everyone else NOT to do, I brought him in bed with me, having another child already sleeping on the other side on the bed.  My youngest went to sleep immediately.  He was comforted just being near me.  I usually don't sleep well in those situations, but I think I was so tired, it didn't matter that I had guests in my bed.  I woke up around 7 and both boys were still asleep.  I could feel them both cuddled into me from each side.  I wanted to save that memory forever.  Click.  And then slowly they started to wake up.  My youngest sat up and saw my oldest and the two just beamed at each other.  It was really quite amazing.  It was another picture that I was taking in my head.  Click.  And then my oldest stretched his arms out and my youngest crawled over me to reach his brother and the two joined in a big embrace.  Click.  Click.  Click.  It was precious.  I knew I'd always remember this moment.  Even when I was old and senile.  I'd remember it for the rest of my life.