3 : Cry

Okay, so I was sad and needed to cry.  It felt good to cry.  I probably would have exploded had I held it all in.  I had several days (weeks even) that I cried.  I couldn't help myself.  I cried for the loss of my husband, partner and best friend.  I cried for the future that I thought I was going to have that would no longer be.  I cried for my children and how their lives were now forever changed.  I cried because I was scared at the uncertainty of what lied ahead.  I cried because I felt helpless and I didn't know what else to do with myself.  As the days went on though, the urge to cry seemed to decrease just a little each day.  It's not that I wasn't sad anymore - I never would have chosen this and I would always be sad that my marriage did not work out.  But then one day I realized I had made it through the whole day without crying.  And I couldn't be certain, but I think I might have even laughed that day?  The urge to cry died down just as the sun continued to rise each day. I was healing.  I was not healed yet, but I was healing.