199 : I'm Actually Ok

It was official: Hybernation Season was upon us (see post #174).  Every morning it became harder to get out of bed and every day at 5:00 it felt like it was 10pm.  I'd come home from work, say hello to my kiddos and then instantly retreat to my room to take off my bra and put on comfy pants.  I'm embarrassed to say that this was so much a part of my regular routine that even my 3 year old would come home from school and immediately ask for his "comfy pants".  I suppose there were far worse crimes as a parent.  The weather had recently turned cold.  In fact, we'd actually had our first snowflakes earlier this week.  This was often a tough time of year for people- the seasonal affective disorder would start to settle in.  Our lack of sunlight would induce depression for the happiest of people, which made me worried about how I myself would get through the winter.  My worry though, was premature because in truth I was actually just fine right now.  Yes, I was open to dating again and interested in meeting someone, but I didn't in any way feel consumed by this desire.  In fact, it was almost just the opposite- I felt quite satisfied with my life at the moment.  Now I wasn't sure how long I could sustain that feeling.  And of course I had my occasional break downs when it all felt too heavy.  But at the moment, I felt...well...just fine.  (I had to note this publicly on my blog so that I could go back and be reminded of this at a future date when not feeling as fine).  I still found myself feeling encouraged and supported from a variety of angles.  Friends.  Family.  My colleagues.  Even acquaintances that were familiar with my situation.  There was a girl at work (who I knew well, but never was all that close to socially) who wanted to set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends.  She didn't have anyone particular in mind.  She was just looking out for me and wanted me make sure I was okay with that.  I didn't know if anything would materialize from it, but I took the message: I am going to keep an eye out for you.  Just to know that people were even thinking to help me in such a way, made me feel relaxed, supported and well...ok.  I was still anxious about many things in my life.  Where would I end up living?  Would I be able to afford what I wanted?  But the question of meeting someone, was still not a huge area of concern for me.  I felt content with where I was at the moment and hopeful about the future.  And who needed a guy right now when I had 2 little men already at home?  It felt good to just be.  For now.