I found out yesterday that my Ex now had a girlfriend. How did I find this out you may ask? Well, it's amazing how 3 year olds can talk. My oldest son liked to tell me what he was up to all the time. When he wasn't with me, he wanted me to know what he had been doing. He mentioned a girls name once a few weeks back and called her 'daddy's friend'. At the time, I debated about asking my Ex about this person, and decided there was no harm in inquiring. It was very innocent and my Ex told me she was a friend and he had many friends. Um, okay. I didn't think much of it again until this past weekend. My Ex came to pick up the kids and my oldest asked his dad if they were going to see this friend today. My Ex was clearly uncomfortable by the question in front of me and curtly told him no. They left shortly after that and it was agreed upon that I would pick up the boys from my Ex later than evening. Our exchange that night was amicable and once I had the boys in their car seats we began our ride back home. I asked my kids how their day was with daddy and my oldest began to walk me through all the fun they had that day. And then, all of a sudden, he said her name again. That name. He said it 2-3 more times. They had been with my Ex and this other woman all day. It was obvious that he had a girlfriend. And then I began to question if they were living together. It kind of made sense. He lived in a rather nice building- I wasn't even sure how he could afford that. I texted him upon getting home and asked directly if he had a new girlfriend and if they were living together. He acknowledged he did have a new girlfriend, but wouldn't tell me about the living situation. We texted back and forth a couple times and I very directly asked him again and he refused to answer. Okay, well I think that gave me my answer. Now let's back up a second here, I probably should have felt hurt in making this discovery that my Ex had a girlfriend that he was possibly living with, right? Well, I'm sure if I spent too much time focusing on the fact, dissecting things, I could've gotten there. But what good would that do? Why put myself through that? My Ex had left little be desired. I was almost happy to learn he was dating someone. Maybe he would be more stable now, happier, and even nicer overall? This could only be a good thing for my kids. Still, it bothered me that my Ex would not tell me that he had someone new in his life that was now spending time with our children. I felt disrespected by this. It's not like he HAD to tell me anything, but I knew that if it were me, I would've shared this information with him. I felt I had a right to know who he was bringing around my children. I also wanted to know who my kids were talking about. We were not together anymore. I had accepted that. I was certainly not expecting to be that disrespected though. I would have to think about how to address this one.
To be continued...
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