34 : Rest

Well this must seem like one of more obvious posts: REST.  But I've found as I've gotten older, it's become increasingly more difficult to get a good nights sleep.  Yes, I have little kids.  But that's not it.  It's just life.  Stress.  Even before I had problems in my marriage, sleeping was tough.  I could usually fall asleep, but staying asleep was another story.  I had always been a worrier, so it wasn't all that surprising it affected my sleep.  I'd wake up in the middle of the night thinking about work...my kids...paying for college...the thoughts that creep into your head in the wee hours of the night.  I remember once I worried half the night about what would happen if one of my kids choked.  Had this happened?  No.  But I lost sleep over the possibility of it happening.  You can try to tell yourself to shut your mind off, but it doesn't seem to listen at those hours.  In the light of day, things always seem so much better but it's tough at night.  And now I was facing a divorce.  If there was ever a time to lay awake in bed and worry, it was now.  Yet I still had to function.  I had to pay bills.  I had to send birthday cards.  I had to prepare meals.  I had to take care of my kids.  I had to take care of myself.  I needed to sleep.  I had some chill pills from my doctor (see post #13) but they were almost too strong.  They knocked me out and left me with that horrible hangover feeling the next day which created this vicious cycle of uppers and downers each day.  CAFFEINE all day!  CHILL PILLS at night!  Not good.  I found that going to yoga (see post #9) helped, but didn't cure my insomnia entirely.  My nanny offered a relaxation tea which was incredibly sweet of her but it was of little help to me after sampling the chill pills.  I decided to try Unisom.  It's sold over the counter and had been suggested to me in the past - actually, when I was pregnant of all times! (Note: I'm no medical expert, but B6 and half a Unisom are supposed to help with nausea.)  I already had some in stock, so I quickly got reacquainted.  The entire pill was too much.  It too left me with that next day sleepy, hangover feeling.  But just a little nibble- a quarter to a half dose (depending) was just the extra help I needed to get a sound night's sleep.  And the sleep helped immensely.  Even in my darkest hour, things looked a little brighter after a good night's rest.