48 : Surround Yourself With People that Make You Feel Good

I was at a baby shower a few months ago and caught up with an old friend from college.  She was very sad to hear of my situation and offered reassurance and support immediately.  She invited me to come visit her sometime.  She said she would spoil me.  The kids could play.  We could relax and enjoy our wine.  I must admit, it sounded appealing.  She lived a couple hours away, but surprisingly I had never been there to visit.  So we sorted through our busy schedules and got a weekend on the books.  Fast forward a couple months - we finally made the trip and could not have had a better time.  She was right- she and her husband did spoil us.  My oldest son was in heaven with the new toys, big back yard and nice new friends.  My youngest son, well, he was content anywhere:)  My friend and I did just as she promised- we relaxed, enjoyed our wine, had a delicious dinner and caught up.  It was perfect.  Being in another city, she was somewhat removed from things, so she offered a fresh perspective for me.  It's not that I needed to solve things anymore, but I appreciated the encouragement.  More importantly though, I loved witnessing her in her element.  We had been close in college- those crazy days when it's all about fun.  We continued to be friends as adults and married women- her husband a good guy, mine as well (or so I thought).  But seeing someone at the occasional wedding or holiday party was not the same thing as entering their home for the weekend.  I got to see closely what her world was like.  How she was as a mother.  How she and her husband interacted.  A little slice of their life.  And from my perspective, it looked very pleasant.   They were happy.  They were good parents.  They had a solid marriage and they respected each other.  They made their family a priority. It was encouraging for me to see.  It's not that I don't typically hang out with people that have good marriages or are great parents- but this was just yet another great example for me.  Being there helped remind me how easy and enjoyable life should be.  And how I had the power to create this for myself as I started over.  I was tired of feeling sorry for myself, feeling sad or thinking about what had happened.  It was over.  I just wanted to focus on that good positive feeling I got being around this happy, healthy couple.  I could have that in the future.  I would make sure I had that.