Shortly after all this mess with my marriage happened, my brother called with some news. Some BIG news. He and his wife were expecting their first child. I had never been sure whether or not they would have kids. I always said (when asked) I wouldn’t be surprised either way. But I certainly wasn’t expecting the call that day. I was excited for my brother. Of course I was. He and his wife were great people who would no doubt make wonderful, loving parents. And as a mother myself, surely I could appreciate how exciting this time was for them. Yet at the same time, the news almost immediately made me feel sad –like I got the wind knocked out of me. Hearing someone else’s joyous news only made me feel worse about what was happening in my own life. They were moving forward and I was going backwards –or in the very least- I was stuck. I’m ashamed to admit it, but that’s how I felt. I reacted appropriately to the news- I did not want my brother to be offended. I was truly happy for them and they deserved this. A few days later, I broke down to a friend and who immediately validated my feelings.
Of course hearing that news would make you sad. You’re only human.
It was true. I was only human. I was going through probably the most difficult time in my life. It was okay to be sad. I acknowledged this myself and then I let it go. I wouldn't become that person.
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