58 : Enjoy Time to Yourself

One of the hardest things about getting a divorce was the shift in how I saw my life unfolding.  Ever since I had gotten married I saw myself being married and having a family.  And then my husband left me.  Which now meant every weekend I was either a single mom or I was all alone with no husband or kids for the weekend.  Neither option I liked and I wasn't sure which scenario I dreaded more.  I loved my kids with my whole heart.  They were, however, very challenging and it was difficult to care for them all alone.  I was doing it (and doing it well I might add!) but it didn't mean it was easy.  The alternative was to be without them for the weekend and just the thought of that made me sick.  For various reasons, my husband and I did not start alternating the full weekends right away after we split.  Fortunately for me, the delay in this happening allowed me time to mentally prepare.  In fact, by the time we started rotating our weekends I was ready. I wouldn't say I was happy about it, but I became comfortable with it. I recognized how little time I had to myself and I approached my weekends "off" as an opportunity to take care of myself.  I went to yoga.  I leisurely read my book.  I slept in and then I drank a whole pot of coffee while I watched the Sunday morning show.   I caught up with friends (without constant interruption!). I did miss my kids, but I found that I also enjoyed the time to myself. It wasn't something I ever had wanted, but I could appreciate it.  And having some time to myself, only made me all the more present upon their return.