54 : He Will Always Be Their Dad

I was giving my boys a bath one night and my older son started splashing water all over like two year olds tend to do.  I gently asked him to stop and when he persisted, I lost my patience and shouted STOP!  It wasn't my proudest parenting moment but it worked and then some.  My son stopped splashing, burst into tears and cried I want daddy.  I'm not going to lie, hearing the words were like a dagger to my heart.  I was the one there everyday and yet he wanted his dad.  I had felt a variety of emotions after my husband left me.  Anger.  Sadness.  Confusion.  Did I mention anger?  It was hard to understand how someone could betray me in such a way, but even more, it was harder to understand how he could do this to his children.  I think that was what bothered me the most throughout this whole thing.  I was the one who was present daily, providing love and emotional support to our kids- it almost seemed unfair that we were both allowed the title parents.  But at the end of the day, my children still adored their dad.  It didn't matter that he didn't live with us anymore or how I personally felt about his choices.  He would always be there dad and I had to accept that.  And I wanted them to have a good relationship with him.  Truly, I did. Not necessarily for his sake...but for theirs.