129 : It's Just So Disappointing

To this day, I still can't really say I know what happened to my Ex.  He just changed. Drastically.  He was one person and then suddenly he wasn't.  I don't know what the hell happened to him.  I knew that I was moving on though and I was in a good place.  I would still have to interact with this 'stranger' for the rest of my life though because of our kids.  We seemed to be getting along decently (considering) but then once again, my Ex let us all down.  For various reasons, he had been unavailable to see the kids as of late and hadn't really talked to them as frequently as normal (which wasn't all that frequent, anyway).  We spoke while the boys were napping and agreed to have a phone call with them that night at 6:30 before they went to bed.  I repeated the time to him to confirm it would work and he agreed.  My boys got up from their naps, we played, we had dinner, we did baths and before I knew it, it was time for the call.  I told my oldest how we were going to call daddy!  He held the phone in anticipation and waited while it rang and rang and rang.  No answer.  So then we tried calling him back at 6:45.  Again, after several rings and no answer we got the voice mail.  Fortunately my son just had a birthday so the room was filled with toys that were far more exciting than a phone right then.  He was jumping all over and playing a moment later, not even aware his dad hadn't answered. I was aware though.  And it was hard not to be pissed, although I reminded myself for the millionth time how many amazing moments my Ex was missing out on.  More than anything, I just couldn't get over how disappointing it was.  He had disappointed me as a partner, husband and friend.  And now he was disappointing my children as their father.  My kids may have been too young now to comprehend, but some day they would.  I could only hope that he could get himself together for their sake before that day arrived.  He never did call back that night.  I'm not sure what happened and I didn't care.
All I could do was try my best...the rest was on him.