178 : Just Be Yourself

So I had been out the other weekend and a guy asked me for my number (see post #171).  I didn't know what to expect, so I gave him the digits willingly and hoped for the best.  What did I have to lose anyway?  He followed up within a few days and invited me to have drinks with him.  Okay, I can do this.  I wasn't trying to hide anything from him intentionally but it wasn't my fault that my age, marital history or child status never came up prior to this text invitation. Truth be told, I knew he was younger than me, but I was trying to be open minded, so why not?  (see post #171, again).  I felt nervous as the date hour grew closer.  Of course I did.  I had been married for three and a half years.  I had 2 kids.  I had been out of the dating scene for almost 6 years.   It was totally normal that I should feel nervous at that moment.  I stayed at work late, and then went straight to the destination.  On my route there as the nerves began to increase, I attempted to reach several good friends for a little reassurance but knew that the 6:45 time slot was out of the question with little ones.  I reached Bravata during mid bath of the twins and she gave me the reassurance I needed (thank you, Bvo!) I resolved to just be myself.  I had nothing to be ashamed of.  I hadn't kept anything from him intentionally.  If he asked, I would tell him.  If it came up naturally in conversation, I would tell him.  I could be open to new things but I wouldn't be dishonest with myself or anyone about who I was.  It came up of course.  And I'm not sure if it was because my subconscious led us there or if it was just a coincidence, but it came up.  And I was honest about my kids.  (It was only drinks, it's not like I had explain the destruction of my marriage at this point!). And you know what?  He didn't care.  (Well, I'm sure somewhere deep down he cared, but this is not what he projected to me).  We continued to enjoy our bottle of wine, some good food and even better conversation.  He was a nice guy.  Probably a nice guy that nothing would really develop with, but a nice guy none the less.  We finished things up, said our goodbyes and went on our way.  I got home and sent one last text in gratitude for a nice evening.  His response more than I had expected.

You are a fantastic woman.  I will be in touch.

I had to admit, it made me smile, even though truthfully I wasn't sure if I'd ever hear from him again.  But I didn't need to know right now.  I had put myself out there.  I had fun.  And that was enough.  For now.