173 : Oh the Irony

So I was writing away on my blog one night when I found myself drifting off in other thoughts.  Thoughts of an ex.  Not the Ex, but a substantial ex from my past.  And by substantial I mean the last serious relationship (met my family, talked of marriage) before I actually met my husband (now Ex Husband).  As I have mentioned in the past, I am not a big social media person, therefore I have not kept in touch or really had access to any ex boyfriends in the past beyond google.  And it had been a long time since I had last googled that name.  Why I decided to do it that night?  I'm not sure.  While I'd like to think I'm typically not an emotional cutter, I knew at that moment I was seeking out something that may not be of great benefit to me as I sat working on my divorce blog.  But I couldn't help myself.  I typed in his name and the results were far better (or worse) than I had been expecting.  Not only was the guy now married (which wasn't THAT big of a surprise to me) but the first entry listed was his wedding featured on theknot.com.  How ironic was this?  A guy who had ended things with me years ago because he felt like he wasn't ready to be married yet was now smiling with his bride on a wedding web site (again, while I typed away on my divorce blog). I just had to shake my head.  He had definitely aged, which I had to say felt good, but it was still a strange reality to swallow.  I remember after we had broken up so many years ago, friends had told me we weren't good together and when I met my Husband (now Ex Husband) it seemed to be clear that there was something better out there for me.  And then that ended.  So where was I now?  I knew this was not a healthy mind set to put myself into - I had been doing so good, what did it matter for me if this ex was now married?  It's not like he was any better than me because of it.  And my story wasn't over yet.  Clearly!  I'd like to think there were many more chapters left in my book.  I scoured the web site to make sure I saw every single picture from their wedding.  I then sent the link out to my girlfriends because what girl wouldn't do that?  And then I shut the browser.  Okay, back to facing forward.