161 : Seek Advice

The past couple weeks had been a bit of a roller coaster.  Right as I acknowledged things were going smoothly with my Ex (see post #145) things blew up again (see post #157).  Most recently, my Ex had spent some time with the kids and disregarded their bed time.  I’m not suggesting this was on purpose, I’m only stating the facts.  On his regular scheduled night, instead of hanging out with them at my place (their home)  he took the boys to his place for the first time ever (which for the record, I was completely fine with) however, I was slightly annoyed that he didn’t communicate this to me in advance.  Additionally, he brought them home 2 hours past their regularly scheduled be time.  Now this bothered me.  Our kids were young.  They needed routine.  That’s why they had a schedule.  My older son woke up in the middle of the night completely disoriented.  He cried for almost an hour and there was little I could do to console him.  The day following was also incredibly difficult.  My older son woke up exhausted before even getting out of bed.  He had school that day and needed to be well rested for the day.  Not to mention, I was exhausted!  I was the one who had to deal with the repercussions.  I had to address this.  But here was where my situation proved to be difficult.   The interactions were so hot and cold with my Ex.  I never knew what exactly would set him off.  Even if I had the best intentions, he would never see it that way.  So, I did what anyone would do in that situation.  I went to the two best parents I knew to seek advice:  my own.  They agreed with me that I needed to address this and advised me to focus the conversation solely on my kids.  He didn’t care about what was best for me, but he did care (theoretically) about what was best for the kids.  It wasn't about him.  It wasn't about me.  It was about our kids.  I would be prepared to discuss this the next time I saw him.  God help me.