334 : Be Thankful

I was summoned to jury duty this week.  And here I thought my life was so chaotic already, it could not handle one more thing.  Although this did not excuse my civic duty.  I spent all morning sitting around the criminal court building waiting to be called.  And once I was called, it was noon so the judge dismissed us for lunch.  After lunch the questioning began.  There were just under 50 potential jurors sitting in the room waiting.  The first 22 were questioned.  Then we had a quick recess.  People were selected.  People were dismissed.  And then I was called as part of the next round.  The case was a first degree murder case of a thirteen year old child.  I sat facing the defendant, acknowledging that I would indeed be fair and just in my decision making, but feeling disgust at the same time that this was what was happening in the world.  I also began to feel anxiety about how I would handle everything else I was currently balancing should this additional responsibility suddenly become mine.  Work was work.  I literally could not be out of the office for a week.  Yet, I couldn't explain that to the judge as a valid excuse.  And then my life outside of work was equally demanding.  I was the primary custodian for 2 small people.  They needed me to be "ON" for them every minute of every day.  I didn't need any additional emotional stress from a disturbing case.  I waited patiently for my turn to be questioned.  And then after I was asked about my family, my living situation, my ability to evaluate the case fairly and justly, I was asked about my hobbies.  Hobbies?  I'm a single mom who works full time and has a 1 year old and a 3 year old!  I don't have time for hobbies!  My response got a chuckle from the other potential jurors around me and even the judge himself.  And after another brief recess, I was dismissed. Thank God.  Would I have been able to handle it?  I'm sure I would've figured it out and gotten everything taken care of just like I always did.  But for once, I was truly appreciative to just be let off the hook.  Hadn't I dealt with enough in the past year already?