319 : My Youngest

For the past year, I've been adjusting to my new life: just me and my boys.  And now, as I think I know that new life, it already begins to change as they both grow and emerge as individuals.  I'm cherishing every moment of these new relationships we are forming- the three of us as a trio and one on one with each of them.   It's also very rewarding as a parent to see their relationship develop as brothers. Recently my youngest son has been seeking out special time with me.  He goes to bed early (early being relative to recent daylight savings time change - see post #317) but then a couple hours later- usually around 10:30 or 11- he wakes up and wants to play.  And the other night as I picked him up out of bed, I realized I rarely get this one on one time with him as his older brother often monopolizes my attention.  I try my best to split my focus evenly between the two of them but I can't say that I am always successful.  To begin with, my oldest climbs in my bed every night and wakes up in the mornings before my youngest does.  Additionally, my oldest is more verbal in general, so he can often dominate a situation.  My youngest has always been more chill.  Even as he grows more assertive with age, he is still more easy going than my first.  Perhaps this is just the second child nature.  Recently though, my youngest is finding his own way to have me all to himself.  And I love it.  He talks to me.  His vocabulary may be slightly broken still but as his mother I know what he is saying (usually).  I'm amazed at his ability to communicate - he is aware of everything.  Was my oldest this sharp at 19 months?  Sadly, I don't remember.  I'd like to think so, but I don't remember this phase as clearly now that I'm living it again the second time around.  Perhaps just in documenting this I won't forget again.  The other night my youngest and I spent about 30 minutes just hanging together from that 10:30-11 time slot.  I sickly enjoy this time.  I know I should be more strict.  I know underneath the smile and giggles he is tired, but I can't seem to refuse him.