322 : Lucky Me

My friend hosted a St. Patrick's Day party over the weekend where several friends, spouses and kids gathered together.  These were my favorite type of events, because this group was my local family.  The women had all been in my life for years; some I met as early as middle school, others college, but we had all remained close despite the obstacles of life.  The husbands were also my friends- they cared about me almost like brothers.  They were protective and wanted the best for me.  Everyone was aware that I had been dating a little and they all wanted details.  I did not like being the center of attention, but I appreciated that everyone knew I deserved better than what I had been dealt.  They all wanted the world for me.  I was very fortunate in that regard.  It was funny being with all my married friends as a single woman.  Nobody made me feel different in any way, but I was aware of it.  I missed my days as a married person.  I did not miss my Ex at all, but I missed the life of being married.  The comfort of it.  Before I had attended these gatherings and I had support from a partner to help watch our kids.  I had support from this group of friends, but it wasn't the same.  Their lives seemed so much calmer and under control that what I felt my life looked like right now.  I craved to be in that place again but I had no idea how to get there.  I didn't even know how to date necessarily, but I was trying. Most importantly though I was happy at the moment.  A year ago on St. Patrick's Day I was in the midst of a divorce.  My Ex had texted me that morning to tell the boys happy st. pattys before presumably going to drink at the bar all day while I was at home with two very sick children- one of which ended up going to the emergency room that evening.  Yes, I was in a much better place this year.  The sun was returning into our lives and the days were getting slightly warmer.  I was more settled with where I was and most importantly who I was.  Not to mention I had the two greatest boys in the world.  I was lucky.  Yes, I was very very lucky.