330 : Just This Once

My kids got home late Sunday night after having spent the weekend with their dad.  I had requested the later return time- my ME time had been scarce as of late.  My Ex happily obliged and the boys were back home around 8:30- pjs and all.  My youngest went to bed right away.  My oldest cuddled up beside me and wanted to watch a show.  I couldn't refuse him at that moment but 1 show, turned into 1 story,  turned into 1 song, turned into laying down with him and finally turned into going to sleep in my bed.  How had this happened just over one weekend?  I had gotten so good at the bedtime routine.  We had all found the balance.  And now, just one weekend away things were out of whack.  I wasn't suggesting he was on a different schedule over the weekend- I'm sure it was pretty consistent over there.  That was one thing that I believe my Ex and I agreed on.  However, I thought it was the emotional shift of spending time with just mommy and then spending time with just daddy.  I think my oldest was onto something as of late and I could see the extra attention needed upon his return.  I gave in eventually and tucked him into my bed, vowing that tomorrow night would be different.  So Monday came.  And I returned home from work extra excited to see my kids.  We played.  We had "ice cream" (frozen yogurt from Trader joe's).  We drank water out of glass cups (just my oldest).  Then it was time to chill out and get ready for bed.  We watched our show and just as I thought I had it under control, the night quickly began to unravel.  My oldest started crying.  He was scared.  He wanted a story.  A song.  And the list went on just like the night before.  I accommodated far too many times and then finally gave up.  He just wanted to be close to me because he was worried I was going to go away again.  The only thing that would settle him would be to sleep in my bed.  So once again I found myself tucking my oldest into my bed.  I promised myself this was the absolute last time I'd allow this.  And then I smiled.