308 : There Goes My Baby

Every parent knows, that you have a special connection with all your children.  My oldest son was well, the first.  There was nothing like experiencing everything for the first time.  It was magical.  So much so, that I wondered what it would be like to have a second.  Would I love him as much?  Well of course I would.  But then again, my connection with my younger son was always different because my Ex moved out when my youngest was only 6 months old.  For this reason, I often felt like my youngest was "my" son versus "our" son.  I knew that was not really the case but that was how I felt.  My Ex and I never really had the opportunity to raise him together like we did with our first son.  It was just me on my own and then my Ex on his own.  This past week, I witnessed something very incredible.  I watched my youngest transform, right in front of my very eyes.  He went from being a baby, to a little boy.  It was really quite incredible.  He had been growing at a rapid pace since birth and he was always trying to keep up with his big brother.  But now his vocabulary was expanding faster than I could believe.  Every day there was something new that came out of his mouth.  He was aware of EVERYTHING around him.  I'm sure this didn't just happen overnight, but it really felt like it.  The little guy who used to just cuddle into me with his thumb in his mouth was emerging as his own person.  And he was making his presence known, too.  I think it hit me the hardest when I went to put him to bed the other night.  He layed down in his crib and actually let me tuck him in.  Yup, I covered him with blankets.  That may sound silly because it was the dead of winter and all kids should be covered, right?  Well that was not the case with this little guy before.  He would curl into a ball and just sleep without any blankets.  In fact, if I attempted to cover him, he would throw the blankets out of his bed.  And now, he was laying there like a little man just tucked in like perfection.  There was a part of me that felt sad in seeing this.  My baby was no more.  He was becoming a little man.  I was raising TWO little men.  And then the sadness faded and I started to feel the only other emotion that was appropriate at this very moment: PRIDE.