115 : Keep the Family Ties

While on vacation on the west coast, I made plans to see my sister-in-law (my soon to be ex husband's older sister).  I can't say that we were super close, but we had geography working against us. She always reached out and made the effort to stay in touch. She sent birthday cards and Christmas gifts.  And after hearing the news of what was happening with our marriage, she emailed me that I would always be her sister.  It was very sweet, especially since I could probably count the number of times I had seen her on one hand. But I appreciated her thoughtfulness.  We made plans for her to come visit us in San Diego.  Her family had yet to meet my youngest and had not seen my oldest since he was a baby.  I invited them to come over to the house in which we were staying.  The cousins could play together, there was a pool here, it would be fun and easy. She agreed without hesitation and showed up the second day of our trip.  I can say with complete honesty, there was nothing the slightest bit awkward about seeing her, even if she was the sister of my husband (soon to be ex).   My kids warmed up to her kids and we all seemed to enjoy our time together.  I invited them to stay for dinner, but they had to head home, the kids had school in the morning.  As we went to say good bye, she told me to please let her know if I ever needed anything as tears swelled up in her eyes.  We didn't really have a chance to talk about anything, which was probably good, but she was obviously still very upset about what had happened between her brother and I.  I saw her crying, but I did not feel sad. I will say that again, I did not feel sad. I felt appreciative we had been able to see each other and catch up. But her tears did not make me feel sad for myself in any way at all. Instead, I was reminded me how loved I was.  Even by my sister-in-law.  I took my reaction to be a step in the right direction. I'd continue going that way.