274 : We All Feel It

I write this post today for all the single parents out there that feel the punishment every time their children go away with their other parent.  Yes, you know what I'm talking about.  I learned quickly that I didn't want to witness this.  It was painful.  Even nearly a year after my then husband moved out and 5 months after my divorce was official, it was still hard to watch.  Fortunately for me, we had an arrangement in which my nanny was usually there for the "exchange".  This way, I didn't have to see them leave.  But they made me pay for it upon their return.  I knew it must've been hard for them, too.  They were with me all week.  And then they were with me on the weekend.  Then the following weekend they would go with their dad.  Perhaps there was a grandparent visit in there, too. I felt bad sometimes about how much they were transported.  I mean, it was all to be with people that adored them, but it still made me feel bad none the less.  I worried that as soon as they were getting comfortable in one setting they were up and moved.  They were young and resilient, so I told myself they were okay (but I still felt bad). And the Sundays when they returned home after having spent the weekend with their dad or their grandparents were definitely tough.  Take this last weekend for instance.  They were happy to see me immediately, but they both cried a lot more than normal just within the couple hours they were with me before bed time.  Perhaps they were tired.  Okay, yes that happened.  It seemed, though, like it was more than that.  Sometimes I felt like they were punishing me for not being with them over the weekend.  I knew that was not necessarily the case, or in the very least a conscious choice but it felt that way just the same.  I had to remember to be extra rested, extra calm and extra patient for those Sundays - for all of our sakes.  I told myself not to take it personally when the meltdowns seemed greater than normal on those Sundays.  We all felt it.  And if we had to go through a couple rough hours to get back into our groove, then so be it.  I knew we'd always get to the other side.