251 : To My Wonderful Sister

Okay, I'm going to state one of the more shallow disappointments that comes with divorce.  You don't get presents anymore.  I mean yes, you get a few little things- things you need- but that one person who likes to spoil you and get you what you want is no longer in your life.  Thus, you don't get presents.  I guess I was already in the middle of my divorce when I had a birthday last year- maybe I noticed it then?  I'm not sure.  If I did, I don't recall.   However, I was aware of it this year for Christmas.  Now don't get me wrong- if you didn't read my holiday blogs, please go back and do so (see posts #237 - 241)  I had a wonderful holiday.  I could not have asked for a better holiday.  I felt mentally healthy the entire time which is about the best thing you can hope for post divorce during the holidays.  But if I'm being honest here (which I can be because it's my blog) I was aware that I wasn't going to be getting anything special from someone for Christmas.  You don't really get presents anymore when you are divorced.  It's just a fact that most people don't share openly, so I'm putting it out there.  Okay.  So we've covered that.  Well, fortunately for me- I still had someone special who was thinking about me and bought me something that I really wanted this year:  my sister.  I'm not even sure how I shared the information with her.  I know we were on the phone one day leading up to Christmas and I was probably trying to do too much while my kids were squealing in the background.  She was definitely trying to do too much with similar chaos at a distance.  This seemed to be how most of our phone conversations went these days.  Neither of us having much time to talk, but wanting to touch base so the calls tended to be somewhat hectic.  I recall rambling off a couple things I wanted for Christmas uncertain if she was even listening, but most certainly not expecting anything from her.  We didn't exchange presents anymore- the focus had shifted to the kids.  But my sister who certainly had a full plate to balance as a mother, wife, doctor and social butterfly must have noted the boots I mentioned during that call because she got them for me for Christmas.  My first Christmas.  Post Divorce.  When you realize for the first time that you no longer get gifts.  I received a gift.  I didn't know how she did it all.  And I most certainly didn't know how I could thank her enough.  The woman had it all.  A great husband.  Three healthy and wicked smart kids.  A thriving career.  And yet she made it all look completely effortless.  My mom and I had even discussed how easy going and casual she was about all of us invading their house unexpectedly when we lost power (see post #238).  We both wished we could be as 'go with the flow' as my sister was.  And now she had just celebrated her 40th birthday this past week and I knew there was nothing I could really give her in return that would mean nearly as much.  The only thing I could think of that would come even close, were my words.

So, here's to my wonderful sister.  Happy Birthday!  I hope you had an amazing dinner last night.  You impress me with how you make it all look so easy.  And my god, you make 40 look good!  Thank you for your kindness, generosity and loving support every day.  I am so very thankful for you.