260 : Why Would Anyone Choose Divorce?

Last night, I attempted to put my children to bed as per our usual routine.  I got home from work and we put pajamas on.  Then we had a little snack and watched a show.  We brushed teeth and I got my younger son settled in bed.  Then after the show, I spent some time reading to my older son and then got him settled in bed.  They shared a room, so this made it tough for the actual going to sleep part- especially at this age.  My youngest would cry when he saw his brother wasn't going to bed yet and my oldest would cry when it was his time to go into the room (usually waking up the youngest).  I tried various ways to tweak the routine and I started earlier almost every night because it seemed as though lately it had been taking longer and longer each night.  Last night, though, for some reason, I began to feel very frustrated that I was doing this all alone.  It was this reason, among many others, that left me feeling very puzzled about why anyone would willingly choose divorce over a partnership.  When my Ex had brought the boys home this past weekend, he expressed the difficulty he'd had in getting my oldest to bed at night.  Yup.  That was what I dealt with 6 nights a week, so I was familiar. He, however, was not.  It seemed like my kids typically behaved like perfect little angels when they were with their dad.  Or at least that was what he usually reported.  They were angels in my eyes for sure, but they did not behave as such for me all the time.  They tested me.  They challenged me.  Last night, for instance, it was 8pm and  I had yet to eat dinner because I was still fighting with my 3 year old about going to sleep.  I agreed to lay down with him, thinking this would help but while I lay there, all I kept thinking is Why would anyone choose divorce?  Now I should note a couple things here following that statement.  I recognize that my opinion might be a very limited perspective on the situation.  I'm sure there were plenty of reasons to pursue a divorce.  Since I had not been the one to want a divorce though, I could not fully understand all of those reasons.  I should also add that I had accepted my situation and I was no longer missing my Ex or wanting to be with him in any way. I did, however, think that a partnership was the preferred method from all fronts.  Financially for instance.  Instead of building 1 life together, we were now forced to take our same incomes as when we were married and divide them over 2 different households.  We both must've felt the pinch there, as I'm sure every divorced parent did.  There were challenges emotionally, too.  My boys had just started crying and asking for their dad at times of struggle or conflict.  It was painful to hear.  Every time.  And I knew they did the same to my Ex.  They told him they wanted mommy.  I knew that had to hurt his feelings, even if he hadn't expressed as much.  And then there was always the time factor.  Instead of doing things together and supporting one another, we now each had to do everything on our own.  I craved having a reliable partner to divide and conquer with.  Or to have my back.  Instead, I had to split my time, attention and physical presence among both boys nearly at all times.  It was very tough, I'm not going to lie.  So why not just try to make things work?  I could acknowledge that what had happened between my Ex and I was for the best (not at first, but I could now).  But I still couldn't understand why anyone would choose this.  I had accepted it, but I never chose it.  That was the difference.   I  wanted the next person I was with to be willing to tough it out.  I wanted them to want to fight for me.  For us.  I wanted to know that even if we were very very mad at each other for a minute, we would still always be there for one another.  I knew what my choice would be moving forward.