My ex brought the kids home last Sunday evening right at the 7:00 hour. We had agreed to this time, and even though I knew it was their bed time, I selfishly wanted every extra minute to myself that I could get. As predicted, they returned excited to see me but more so happy to be back in their home, with their toys and their "shows". I asked my ex to help me get them right to bed upon their return. And he did. So together we tag teamed the two rug rats who fought pajamas and the overall concept that it was time to go to bed. And then the most amazing thing happened. They both began asking for me. They were both tired and crying and at that exact moment, they were refusing their father because they only wanted their mama. Now I know that my boys love me. I don't doubt this. Yet, they see me every day and they do not see their dad. So when they whine for daddy day in and day out, I know it is just because they don't get to see him, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting a little still. I was the present parent, so I was often set aside on a daily basis. But that night, upon their return, it was clear that there was only one person they both wanted to get them ready for bed, to read them a story, to hold them and cuddle with them in that moment. Me. The satisfaction was overwhelming, I couldn't help but beam a little in the moment. They wanted me! It felt so good that even though the bedtime routine was a complete disaster that evening, I still had a smile plastered to my face. It was exactly what I needed at that moment.
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