I began this blog 11 months ago as an outlet for myself working through such a major life change. As I approach the final month of my writing, I am beginning to feel very reflective as to how far I've come. I may never be able to get in all the personal shout out's and thank you's that are necessary but I am going to try. Today's post in particular, is to my very good friend, my very first friend: Anjali. Anjali showed up at my parent's house on Bromley sometime in the early 80's asking my mom if there was anyone in the household her age that she could play with? I was in my room, perched at the barbie dollhouse and my mom walked in with a little girl following. And there began our beautiful friendship. Her parents chose to pursue other professional interests a couple years later, which resulted in a move from Michigan to Florida. I was heartbroken at the time. I can say that with complete honestly. I was literally heartbroken when she left. I had lost my first best friend. But yet somehow we remained in touch. During the adolescent years it was a little tough- we exchanged letters from time to time. And then I even went down to Florida for a visit. Our communication was limited but somehow there was still a connection. I think we lost each other almost entirely during college- but who didn't lose themselves a little at that time? And then of course, we emerged as adults and reconnected post college years learning we had so much more in common that we ever knew to begin with. And that was that. We were back in each other's lives for good. I stood up in her wedding. She gave a reading in mine. I admired her ambition, her hard work, and her ability to juggle it all. She made it look so easy. She was career driven and a loving mother. The perfect oxymoron of goals, yet a position so many of us found ourselves in. When I first learned my then husband was unhappy in our marriage, I called my friend. She listened. She gave me sound advice. She listened some more. She did not always say what I wanted to hear, but I valued her opinion. And there one thing that she consistently reminded me of more than any other person in my life. Don't give up all that you've worked for professionally. During my LOA (see post #6) my job was my lowest priority. I was trying to process everything and focused on how I would get through this. My first thought was to return to my native Michigan where I would have a larger support system. And I was willing to start over professionally at that moment to make it happen. It wasn't even starting over. It would've been taking a step back in my career. I validated this option to myself multiple times. I think every other person in my life supported a move as well (which I also needed to hear at the time, so I'm not criticizing that) but it was Anjali who reminded me about my career. A career that I had invested in, I had earned my spot through 12 years of service, I had opportunity in front of me and I had something that was all mine. I had been so emotional and confused, I actually considered throwing that away. And now…just over a year later…I can say with complete sincerity, I am so glad I did not. I do not love my job every single day that I am there. I do, however, feel valued. I do feel like I have some control over my future. I do feel like the options in front of me are there because I have earned them, and those for which I haven't yet earned, are still achievable. I may not be satisfied with the position forever, but if I leave it will be because I chose to leave - not because I make an emotional decision out of fear. Until this very moment, I don't think I have thanked my friend for this sound and consistent perspective she provided. A point of view I desperately needed. So…Anjali…thank you. Your support means the world to me. And your professional guidance was right. Thank you.
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