284 : Restart

Yesterday, I had a couple unsuccessful conversations at work.  I won't own the failure outright, but I know I was a participant so I have to admit I could be partly at fault.  I wasn't sure if it was my approach, or just the topic in general, but what I had hoped to be productive had gone wrong.  Terribly wrong in one instance.  My job forced such difficult conversations on a regular basis and my batting average wasn't always over 500 (is that the correct analogy?)  But for some reason, I was feeling overly sensitive that day, so the professional struggles began to wear on me more personally than usual.  It had started at my son's school that morning (see post #283) and it just set me off in the wrong direction for the day.  The failed conversations at work made me start to think about my personal life and more specifically my failed marriage.  I had never even realized, prior to my Ex telling me, that there was a problem with our marriage.  What in the world did that say about me?  I thought I was a good communicator but perhaps I was more flawed in this area than I even realized?  Since I knew I was slightly off that day, I decided to go to yoga instead of dissecting myself any further.  For 90 minutes, I focused on my breath and stretched and sweated all that negative energy out of my body.  And when I left, I felt renewed in the best kind of way possible.  I knew I wasn't perfect.  But I wouldn't question my role again in what happened with our marriage because I didn't deserve that judgement.  I had been honest and open and approached everything with good intention.  And the same applied at work.  I didn't play games.  I wasn't into politics.  I was direct, but I genuinely cared about people and I was out to accomplish things for the betterment of everyone.  Okay, I was sarcastic as all hell, too but come on- that wasn't going anywhere.  I felt thankful that I was able to recenter myself so quickly and I slept soundly that night knowing that tomorrow was a new day.