Saturday, May 11, 2013

13 : It's called MEDICATION, not DRUGS

As I previously stated, my LOA (see post #6) was contingent upon my primary care physician's approval.  Fortunately, this was not a problem for me.  In addition to time off from work, my doctor suggested I go to therapy (which I was already doing- see post #7) and that I try taking some medication.  She wrote me a script for 2 different chill pills.  Pill 1 was an anti-depressant to be taken daily. I'm told from those wiser than me that the dosage she gave me was relatively low, but I decided I didn't want to take it.  I've always liked pills, I'm not going to lie.  Back in the day I would enjoy a little recreational Vicodin or Norco every once in a while, but I didn't like the idea of being on an anti-depressant.  Even if I was depressed.  I think perhaps I felt too proud to try it at first?  I was strong- I could beat this! Pill 2 was to be used as needed for treating anxiety.  This was a higher dosage than Pill 1 and for some reason, I was more open to trying.  I think it felt safer to me because it was prescribed to be taken just as needed.  The first couple times I tried Pill 2, it knocked me out completely which I didn't like.  So at my next appointment, I asked my doctor about this and wondered if there might be a Pill 3 that would work better for easing my anxiety, but not put me to sleep. She encouraged me to try Pill 1 and gave the 'That's why it's called Medication, not Drugs' speech.  She went on about how the world wasn't going to be instantly perfect for me, but this was just a little something to help.  And so I decided to give Pill 1 a try.  I reminded myself this wasn't forever. I had to take care of myself and if that meant taking some pills for the time being, then so be it.

2 comments:

  1. I've going through a similar thing with 1 2 year old child, only my significant other is still living and won't leave. Why would he, I take care of everything and pay all the bills. I'm in a constant state of resentment and they only joy I have is with him is my beautiful daughter. Anyway, my question to you is about the mediation, as I recently have been resorting to xanax although I've felt guilty about it, it's the only thing that helps me sleep well as night. I was curious as to what medication you have tried and if you think they have helped or are still helping. Thank you!

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  2. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I can only imagine how stressful that must be to be living under the same roof still. I hope you are able to work through what is happening and get to a better place for yourself and your daughter- whatever that place might be. I can appreciate your concern about taking medication. As you read in my post, I too felt that. However, looking back, I can say that was necessary for me at that time. And when I felt that guilt, I remembered that my doctor would not have written me the script had it not been what I needed. I did take xanax for a while and I found it worked well for me but everyone is different. Additionally, to help with sleeping, I tried to minimize how much caffeine I was drinking, I did yoga and drank a relaxing tea at night. There are also over the counter sleep aids like Unisom and more natural sleep aids like Melatonin that could help. If you continue to have concerns, you may want to discuss with your doctor.

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