22 : Make Some Plans

I have always loved the month of May.  It represents so many things to me.  As a midwestern girl, May is usually the month that the sun starts to peek out again.  Temps start to rise.  Summer is definitely not here yet, but it's within reach.  We might even get a couple days that feel like summer as a little teaser.  May is also the month of the Kentucky Derby.  How can you not love the ponies?  I've been to the Derby 3 times (Smarty Jones, Giacomo & Barbaro - thank you Nikki & Steve!). Good times.  May is the month of Mother's Day.  This isn't something I always celebrated but I will say I adjusted quickly to getting spoiled on that day.
It also just so happened that we got married in May.  Just a couple days before my birthday in fact.  We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.  I thought it was meant to be because my sister got married very close to her birthday and my brother did the same.  So much for meant to be.  Finally, I had my birthday.  Up until about the age of 25 that was a big deal, but of course as I got older it was less of a thing to celebrate.  (Who got excited about turning 37?)  Still, when I was married my husband definitely made a big to do about my birthday.  It typically fell on Memorial weekend, so we always got an extra day to celebrate.  Who wouldn't want that for their birthday? May. My favorite month.  A month with momentum that built up to the glorious Memorial weekend/anniversary/birthday extravaganza.  Of course, this only made things harder for me once my marriage started to fall apart.  If there was ever time that I was dreading the most- it was Memorial weekend.  I started panicking long before it got here.  I needed to plan something.  I needed to have something to look forward to.  This one was going to be tough one no matter what, but if I could stay ahead of it, maybe I could ease the blow?  I began putting feelers out to friends.  Who would be around?  What did people have planned?  Did anyone want to adopt me for the weekend?  My calendar was wide open.  (Of course people would be around and they would want to spend time with me because my friends are, well, awesome).  I found that as soon as I started to make some plans, I felt relieved.  The not knowing, was the scariest part of all. And then once I had something to look forward to, I was fine.  I was even excited for the weekend.  Sure, it was going to be different this year.  My life had changed, and things weren't quite as settled as they had been before.  But it was okay. I could still have a fun weekend.  I could still laugh with my friends.  I could still be entertained by my kids.  I could still enjoy a glass (or bottle) of wine.  And I would.