229 : Most Wonderful Time of Year?

There is something about the song Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas that has always given me a bittersweet feeling.  Perhaps it's how it's used in movies that I associate it with - I'm not sure.  It is sweet and beautiful and yet there is something a little sad about it all at the same time.  I remember hearing it last year and it brought tears to my eyes.  So much had changed in just a matter of weeks.  Now a year later, so much had changed once again- yet this time it was for the better.  I was truly proud of my personal growth over the past year.  I had come a long way.  And then the other night when I was leisurely walking around Target (see post #228) I heard that song playing throughout the store and a rush of sadness washed over me.  Surely I was entitled to a little pity party, right?  I was alone.  I was divorced.  The holidays were approaching.  And then I remembered a conversation with a friend earlier in the week.  Whomever coined this time as the 'most wonderful time of the year' was seriously an ad genius beyond our time (thanks Carrie!).  Most wonderful time of year?  It was FREEZING out.  And I mean freezing.  It was pitch black at 4 pm.  I walked to the train every morning bundled from head to toe, with my head cocked down to avoid any additional wind that would blow in the my face.  My lips were so chapped they cracked when I smiled.  And the colds.  My children and I were on like our 3rd cycle of colds that continued to work their way through our household one by one.  I was tired all the time.  I vowed every night to call a friend just to reach out and then once my kids got to bed, I just didn't have it in me to do one more thing.  I did like the holiday festivities, that I couldn't deny.  But the weather.  The change in the season.  That was what was bringing me down.  And yes, I'm sure my situation didn't help but I maintain that it wasn't the primary source.  As soon as I saw it for what it was, I instantly felt better.  Okay, so I was suffering a little from seasonal affective disorder.  I could get through this.  Hell, after what I had been through in the past year, I could get through anything.