218 : 1 Month to Go

I'd made it through 11 months of 2013.  Only 1 more month to go and then this year would be officially over.  At times I probably sounded like a recovering alcoholic (which, for the record I was NOT) as I recounted the time.  But 11 months under my belt was still something I was proud of.  11 months since my world had been torn apart, and here I was still standing.  Not bad.  I had even made it through my first big holiday post divorce, which I was also proud of.  Now I just had to make it through the mother of all months: December.  This one would be particularly hard because of the holidays and of course the memories of what exactly transpired just a year ago.  I began my start into December this past weekend by preparing my house for Christmas.  To begin with, I bought a fake tree.  Now, don't get me wrong, I do like the smell of real trees.  But I live in an apartment.  On the 2nd floor.  With no elevator.  I had enough responsibility on my plate, I did not need to carry a tree up and down the stairs for the holidays.  I knew what was best for me and for now that was a fake tree.  My Ex hated fake trees, too which only made it more perfect.  Next I had to get out the Christmas box.  Despite our divorce (see post  #117) and reclaiming my space (see post #59), I had still not gone through the infamous Christmas box.  The box contained our homemade stockings - a gift from my mother - complete with each of our names.  It also had ornaments marking all the various occasions from the past 4 years.  Our engagement.  Our wedding. The boys.  I separated our the kid's ornaments- those were still special and I wanted to keep them.  All the rest though, I put in a bag for him along with his 'dad' stocking. I added his childhood snow globe to the bag and a couple other holiday pieces that were his. I think that was officially the last of his stuff.  Now back to my stuff.  I got the mantel set up with the 3 remaining stockings and garland.  I adjusted some furniture to make room for the tree.  I got it set up and laughed a little to myself at how small and fake it actually looked, but it still did the trick.  It looked perfect.  Okay December...let's do this.  I was as ready as I'd ever be.