86 : Just Go For It

I had been back to work for a couple weeks (see post #43) when the company email was sent out regarding annual performance reviews.  I hated reviews.  Why?  I'm not sure.  I was good at my job.  I'm not trying to be arrogant either, just confidently speaking the truth- I was good at my job.  But for some reason, the thought of reviews always made my stomach churn.  I didn't enjoy trying to quantify my value every year for a small (if any) payoff in return.  This was the profession I had chosen though.  Advertising!  A field that offered excellent benefits, a ridiculous amount of paid time off, a refrigerator stocked with beer every Thursday but very little money for the raise pool.  I was always fair in my self appraisal - I acknowledged my efforts and shortcomings but took the least amount of time to do so because I knew it wouldn't change the outcome all that much.  Well screw it.  Not this year.  My whole life had changed this year - who knew where I would even be a year from now?  What did I have to lose?  I wrote myself a glowing review, highlighting a snapshot of my many MANY contributions over the past year.  And then I took it one step further.  I wrote out a goal of getting promoted to a VP in the next year.  I know, it may have seemed like a long shot, I had just spent some time off from work on a LOA (see post #6).  But, I felt stronger and more capable coming back.  This was something I felt I wanted to work towards and I hoped it would be considered a realistic goal- not for today, but in the future.  I wasn't sure if this would cause my boss to a) laugh b) be pissed off or c) agree.  I expected the first or second, but decided I couldn't let the fear of her reaction stop me from saying what I wanted.  All I could do was put it out there and see where it went.  One thing I had learned this year was that life was too short to settle for anything less.