66 : Write a Letter to Your Ex

I had always been a fan of writing letters.  I found them to be more powerful than an email, text or often even a conversation.  For me, writing was a way to help process it all.    So here I was getting a divorce now and with that came a wide range of feelings. I had gone through every emotion in the book - confusion, anger, sadness, fear, you name it. Emotionally speaking, I felt I had made it to the other side already.  I was no longer wishing to work things out with my husband (soon to be ex).  But there were a lot of things that were still unsettled for me.  Things that had been left unsaid.  I needed some closure.  I worked through my feelings by way of writing a letter to my ex.  I read it, revised it, rewrote it, revised it again. Eventually I captured the perfect synopsis of how I was feeling.  I said everything I wanted to say, and in just the right way.  I knew I had to give it to him- not for his sake but for mine.  I held onto it intently knowing when the time was right, I would pass it on.

• • • • •

Dear Ex,

Last fall I thought I was one of the luckiest people in the world. I had 2 beautiful, healthy boys. I had a devoted, loving husband with a huge heart. Our future was bright. And here we are less than a year later…divorced… I still don’t understand at all what happened.

I will forever miss the man that I married. My husband, partner & best friend. The man who would’ve done anything for me and for his family. The man who would never quit his marriage so quickly or leave his children so easily. I loved that man with my whole heart, and I will be sad for the rest of my life that he is gone.

I look at you now, and I don’t even recognize you. I am no longer sad that we are not together. I feel sad for our boys, because this is never the life I wanted for them. But mostly, I just feel sorry for you. You’ve lost your biggest supporter- the most loyal person you will ever know. And whether you know it now or not, your decisions have permanently altered your relationship with your kids. How terribly sad for you.

I will never forget how you abandoned me. But I want you to know that I forgive you. I only hope that someday you can forgive yourself.

I wish you all the best in your new life.