179 : Clarity!

I was having a conversation with a friend tonight and explaining where I was in my 'big picture' for life.  I wanted to try to stay in Chicago.  I had spent the past 12 years building a life for myself here, both personally and professionally, I wasn't ready to give that up.  She rejoiced in this recognition.  It was a big step.  I was confidently speaking about what I wanted to do next.  What I needed to do next.  I knew my path was a little blurry still, but I could see the direction ahead of me.  I'm not sure when the route had gotten more clear, but I appreciated her ability to identify it for me.  Maybe I had been so lost in the details, I hadn't stopped to acknowledge I knew what I wanted to do next.  I wanted to stay in Chicago for now.  I wanted to look for a place in the suburbs where I could start to build a new life for myself and my kids.  A place where the only memories would be the new ones we created.  I wanted to see if I felt more supported being closer to my friends.  And if not, then I would know that the true next step would be to move closer to my family. But for now my head was here.  My heart was here.  I was thankful that knowing at that moment what my immediate next step was.  Now I only had to find a way to get there.