As my husband and I moved closer to divorce, our
interactions became more stressful.
There were a lot of hurt feelings on both sides, I’m sure, but yet we
still had to communicate for the sake of our kids. In the beginning, this was incredibly
difficult. Our conversations were tense,
often heated. I dreaded seeing this
person that I previously had loved because I never knew what to expect. But I still had to have some sort of relationship
with him because we would forever share our two sons. How does one do this? As time went on, I learned a few ways to
navigate the situation. Just as in
dealing with my two year old- I learned that if I got worked up, visibly
frustrated or even angry my Ex would get more mad, louder and often mean. If I exercised restraint, and remained calm then our
interaction seemed to have a more positive outcome. That is not to say that every discussion was
easy or pleasant, but I found that my approach influenced the outcome. As difficult as it was, I
bit my tongue. I tried my best to be
agreeable, pleasant. I would call my mom
afterwards and say all the things I could not say to his face – but I exercised
restraint in from of him. Now I was
never dishonest, or untrue to myself (or to him for that matter) but I certainly held myself back at time. And it helped.
Serentiy Now...
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